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評中國政府網英文版中的表達問題 |
作者:黃衛峰 文章來源:本站原創 點擊數 更新時間:2012-04-25 文章錄入:admin 責任編輯:admin |
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43. The Ministry of Education takes information technology as the key to improve the education in the west. 問題:the key to后接名詞短語,因此應把the key to improve the education in the west改為the key to the improvement of education in the west。 44. A total of 10,000 experimental schools were set up in western areas already. 問題:根據上下文及英語語法,這句的時態應改為現在完成時,即把were set up in western areas already改為have already been set up in western areas。 45. With the joint efforts of educational and financial departments, the program went on smoothly and achieved major progress. 問題:這句存在語態使用不當問題,應把achieved major progress改為major progress was achieved。 46. The development of the program: First, the funds for the program is well arranged. 問題1:The development of the program是片斷句,應改為完整句。 問題2:the funds是復數,謂語動詞is應改為are. 問題3:這句話描述2003年項目發展情況,應使用一般過去時,以便與下文保持一致。因此,is應改為were。 47. By September 2003, 4.6 billion yuan was allocated to the program, accounting for 97.9 percent of the planned funds for the program, including 30 billion yuan from the central level and 1.6 billion yuan from localities. 問題1:這里出現數字拼寫錯誤,應將30 billion yuan改為3 billion yuan。 問題2:localities的意思是“位置,地點”。而這里的意思是“地方當局”,因此應改為local governments。 問題3:表達累贅。 全句試譯為:By September 2003, 4.6 billion yuan was allocated to the program, accounting for 97.9 percent of the planned funds, with 3 billion yuan from the central government and 1.6 billion yuan from local authorities. 48. Second, the implementation of the program achieved remarkable progress. 問題:這句話存在語態錯誤,應改為被動語態Second, remarkable progress was made in the implementation of the program.
由于譯文缺乏變化,在不同的地方表達相同意思時都使用同一句型,所以上述錯誤重復出現,限于篇幅,沒有一一列舉。讀完譯文,筆者的總的感覺是,譯者太拘泥于原文的結構和措辭,以至于出現許多死譯、硬譯的情況,中式英語現象嚴重;英語語法問題不少;句式單調,不符合英語注重變化的特點;沒有從篇章的角度進行處理,結果出現大量表達累贅的情況,句與句之間的銜接也不夠。當然,由于沒有中文本對照,筆者提出的一些修改意見只是在原文基礎上提出來的,不一定是最佳的。 ——本文摘自黃衛峰教授出版的《英語語言文化散論》(國防科技大學出版社) |
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